A Meme You Can Trust

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

OJ Simpson, suck on my justice

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

The Stray Cats

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Scott Peterson

4. What is your favorite cheese?

melted cheese

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?

Tuna and onion

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?

Virgina Mayo, shes dead, does that matter ?

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?

Dolly Parton, I must must must see her tits.

8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?

Alcohol of course, is that a trick question?

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Iceland

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?

Get pissed in Iceland of course.

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is…?

For fuck sake, where were you when I was spending my money on drink ? I could of been getting hookers, Whisky from the Isle of Islay.

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

I'd go back and write those idiot Harry Potter books before Rowling did and place a bet at the bookies on Bush winning/ rigging two terms as President, I'd be rich I tell you.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

A dress code: all weeman must go around bare chested and wear mini skirts with crotchless panties and Stiletto shoes , there will be no men.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise?

'Old Bitter balls' its about an Old git that has flashbacks to adventures in his younger years where he is a hero, lover and all round shaper of history, yes my blog is the premise, buy it now BBC before Sky gets it.

15. What is your favorite curse word?

Prick! no fuck! no wait its cunt! maybe its bastard.

16. Your house is on fire! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the item?

My shotgun Henry to shoot the fucker that petrol bombed my hoose, you're reading this aren't you? ya fucker.

17. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Tell those bitches they aren't getting any child support as those bastards don't even look like me, but anyway who wants to pop into me bed and go doon memory lane?

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?

Write up my last post saying goodbye and fuck off and eat some unradioactive veggies.

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be?

Invisibility so I can get away from the angel of death and cause mayhem.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

When I took Susan Sarandon up the bum no babies.

21.You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

When Ricky Martin took me up the bum no babies.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-travelling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But you can move to anywhere else in the world! What country are you going to live in now?

America with its celebrities and its cheerleaders that shower in locker rooms in slow motion, I am the invisible perv. When did I become a Heathen? I don't think that means what you think it means.

23. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?

The Old Bitter Ball's Arms, my pub bought with my book and gambling proceeds.

24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Suddenly, you have gained the ability to float. Who are you going to show this to first?

Any gurl that I'm trying to impress, a 12 inch penis used to be impressive now you have to bloody well float to get them interested.

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?

Virgina Mayo, I'd like to see what sex would be like with her alive since I've already had her dead.

26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

considering I just did this meself I am Death and old Death, you are the weakest link goodbye.

27. What’s your theme song?

I love you because ---- Jim Reeves. a fucking cool song.

28. Who’s up next?

YOU, you fool, especially if you whine about memes just fucking do it, yer post on beer bottles of the world or how yer Da would eat bananas and force you to look at it all chewed up in his mouth can wait , and don't be ghey about it ya wimps do it on yer Blog not on my comments, now I'm not saying you'll get bad luck if you don't do it so don't go blaming me if you get bad luck and yer dick falls off or something.